This is my rambling spot, where I type about me, my life, my experiences. A blog of sorts, I guess. Hope you enjoy!
This is an exercise in writing and story telling, a day where I knew true peace. Now, it'd be much easier to portray it all with drawings, but I haven't made a drawing in 2 weeks, and the last one I made took tons of time. My energy is low and time keeps escaping my grasp.
Life is a chaotic non-stop carosel that refuses to stop in emergencies for me, but two days ago it slowed down. I woke up too early, expecting to go back to the regular daily grind. When I turned up to school though... it was a ghost town. I wandered around for a solid five minutes before a friend said I wasn't supposed to be in. I checked my phone and realised I'd missed a message from the school which said my year group wasn't supposed to be in until 11:30. So off I went to town! I did a little wandering around and shopping (currently wearing the pyjamas I bought from the store... so cozy!) before I went home for the last hour and fifteen minutes I had to wait. I sat down and put on a game show to pass the time, then off I went again... half an hour too early. This really goes to show that my brain struggles to see time as a number! Time is a schedule measured by the sun, moon, and however much dread I'm feeling for the day ahead.
I went to another little shop, I was tempted to buy an energy drink, but I decided a soda of the same flavour would be marginally better for me. I also impulse-bought some cheap wireless earbuds, I mean, I can't keep saying I prefer wired without trying wireless for myself! I went home and popped the wireless earbuds in to listen to some music while I took care of a few little chores. My productivity shot through the roof, because my brain had something to really focus in on (the music) I could get the boring tasks done without wandering around my house too much, I got it all done in half the time! However, one of the earbuds did die on me later that day, I think I'll always prefer wired, but I have both now for two separate uses.
Take 3, I left my house to go to school, expecting to do some work, but the teachers really didn't want to work this week either. We could either cook or go on a walk. I thought about cooking, I could use the school's ingredients to make some nice brownies, but everybody else wanted to cook, and a crowded kitchen makes a smelly, noisy, stressful kitchen. A walk it was! The teachers took us down this nice river nearby, and I walked a little ahead of the rest of the group. It was like the absence of most things other than some background noise and subpar nature scenery took away any stress I had for a moment. I felt I could take on the world out here by myself, but I just wanted to exist, and that was okay too. I had never known true peace until that moment, and oh my god, do I ever wish I could show that to everyone I ever cared about, how I wish I could live every day feeling like that!
The walk was over and when we returned to school, we got to eat some brownies that the others baked, they were very nice! I went home for a while, then some girls from school invited me to hang out (which is honestly a massive surprise, I don't talk to many people there often) and it was a nice, relaxing little evening. Unfortunately, I also had to walk up a hill to get there! So I was very exhausted, since I spent the entire day walking.
I hope I encapsulated this feeling well, I don't have much time to edit and proof read since I've barely had time to breathe today! I wrote this in three sittings, which isn't good because it took me maybe half an hour to write? I might go bake some cookies while doing some chores, I wanted those heavenly brownies again, but we're fresh out of cocoa powder and I don't think hot chocolate powder is the best alternative, even if it works. Have a good day, may you meet peace yourself!
I LOVE art, I love drawing, I've spent my whole life doing it. However, I enjoy many other things, and I just like to incorporate my art into other things. It gives it a personal touch, a little flare.
I go to a school, you know how some schools give you subject options? This place has two class blocks, and you get to choose a class from each block. One of the classes is "craft and design" (sewing, sculpting, art that isn't drawing and painting basically) and the other class is woodwork. I wish I could have gone to both classes, I really do, but I chose woodwork. Why would I choose an option that was less familiar to me, something it may be harder to get marks in? Well, one of the reasons was that I had a woodwork class a long while back, and I really enjoyed it! I mean, I hated my teacher, but my love for the craft overpowered my hatred of that stuck up, strict teacher. It also overpowered my hatred of the noise that saws and drills make. The other reason, I'll explain in a moment.
In my current woodworking class, I'm making a table. A 19th century styled table with a rose pattern on top. I thought woodburned roses and faux antique would go good together, and so far, it's amazing. Granted, it's very difficult, since me and linework aren't best friends, but there's something relaxing about burning little dots into a circular chunk of wood. I'm glad I chose this class, even if the other class would have been easier, because measuring and cutting in a straight line, two skills I don't have, are very necessary for woodworking. One of the guys in my class stood next to me and watched me intently burn dots into this chunk of wood, as if I became a tattoo machine, and went "Wow". He then asked
"Would you not do craft and design?"
I said "I'm obviously here instead!" but in my head I had so much more to say. So much more. Let me paint you a picture, let me tell you what it's been like for me. Imagine spending your life on art, enjoying it thoroughly, loving the craft and being praised for your drawings. You go to lessons, you spend your free time on it, you copy your favourite shows and cartoons. Then you fall ill and it's basically the only thing you do for the longest time. I mean, I remember picking up coding during the time I spent stuck inside, constantly having migraines, ill. But because I had untreated Irlen syndrome, it was a hard hobby to keep up with. I could sit in a dark room, and when the pain faded away enough, I could sit up, turn my screen brightness really low and draw. I posted almost every day on Deviantart, sometimes twice a day! It was nice, even though I met awful people and then the sun set on Deviantart when Eclipse was realeased...
Would you not want to branch out after dedicating years and years to art? Now that I'm mostly better, I've picked up sewing, I've picked up collecting, I've picked up console murder- I mean repair and I've picked up woodworking again thanks to schoo! So why would I go to more art classes when I can finally do much more? I want to learn lots of things, why limit myself? I'm only using the skill I already have to make my project more interesting. A table is a table, but this gets to be a COOL table! Of course, I'll show everyone once it's done. Give it a while, since it's very time-consuming.
"You made a story while you were asleep? How?" A dream. I had a dream and I'm too invested in the story. Far too invested. I have to tell everyone who'll listen because I feel like I have something here.
I fell asleep a bit later than usual (11:30, I'm such a bad boy, I know) so I never got to finish this dream thanks to my wonderful 7 A.M. alarm, demanding that I have to get up and go into school. Awful. It started off with me meeting a guy, I forgot his name but he sort of looked like a weaker version of Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars (book version where he was ridiculously tall and had mahogany hair, not the movie version) so let's call him "August" for now.
I met August in school, a kind of school where drop-out kids like me go back to get their shit done, so we were both young adults. He brought in this can of silly string, except it was filled with icing. The teacher left for a moment and put a movie on for us, so August started spraying icing everywhere. You could tell it was icing, it wasn't the consistency of silly string, it was like using a piping bag full of buttercream, except he was using it on the walls. He left to "go to the bathroom" and so left me with the can. For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to start using it to draw hearts everywhere. The principal of our school came in and caught me, and all I had to say for myself was "It's not what you think!".
I left the room with the principal and saw August in the hallway. He never went to the bathoom, he just went to put icing all over the halls! Why? Then he nearly left me to clean it up on my own. I had a problem with that and so did the principal, so he stayed behind and we cleaned all the icing off of everything and became good friends over the process.
My brain fast-forwarded the dream a few years, we were both around 21? 22? At this time? August had just inherited a massive mansion. The problem was that he didn't want to sell the house, but there was no way he could afford the bills on the place on his own. So he asked me if I wanted to move in with him, not just me and him of course, me and my girlfriend would move in with him and his boyfriend. I hadn't met his boyfriend though, apparently? So I ask to meet him.
His boyfriend was quite a striking character. In comparison to August, who had dark hair, mostly wore hoodies and jeans, and his only remarkable feature was his long face and dark eyes, this guy was very interesting to look at. He had blonde hair with even blonder highlights, which fell over the left side of his face. He had bright blue eyes and pale skin. He wore gray cargo jorts, a pastel rainbow tie-dyed t-shirt, high-topped converse and striped socks. This man introduces himself as Craig, and I, ever so politely say:
"The last thing you look like is a Craig!"
And he responds with
"Hah, I know!"
And that's when my alarm went off. That was the moment the friendly guys I'd met had left forever, which was such a shame. I miss August, I miss Craig, and neither were ever real. So I have to do something with them. They'll never be real, but they can be shared. I have to make them, I have to draw them. I came home from school early, not to work on these two, because I feel nauseous, but it gives me the perfect opportunity to make them into something share-able, something real enough.
This post is mostly a test post to see how everything would look, but it also would be a fun thing to put out there, what, since everyone here loves their computer and all. Now this sin is something that may make computer gamers die inside a little. Confession: I use the arrows to move in keyboard games, not WASD.
I grew up mostly gaming on consoles, but when my brother and I were kids, we had a slightly outdated, sturdy desktop computer that we were allowed to use for Youtube and kids' games. In the late 2000s and early 2010s, we were using a Windows XP machine. Too bad I don't have it anymore, otherwise I'd rattle off its specs. It was a nice little machine, my brother and I both really enjoyed it. However, we already had consoles, a Wii, an N64, we each had some kind of DS (rest in peace, my DSi XL) and we even had a Gameboy Advance at some point! So we didn't really buy games for the computer, we bought games for the consoles. That left me and my brother to roam around on flash game sites and subscription-based virtual worlds.
You know what a d-pad looks like, right? If not, look up a Wii Remote and take a look at that + shaped thing. Now see how it resembles the arrows on your keyboard. My kid brain immediately gravitated towards using the arrows to move around, they make sense, they're separate from the rest of the keyboard! But one day, I went to play Fireboy and Watergirl... by myself. Sad, I know. I had to use WASD to move one of them (Fireboy? I think?) and the arrows to move the other (I'm sure Watergirl was controlled by the arrows, right?) and moving Fireboy with WASD was a slight pain. I kept hitting the adjacent keys next to W! It sucked! I suppose after years of using WASD, you'd get used to it, but I never saw any reason to really get used to WASD. Even playing the occassional solo game of Fireboy and Watergirl never got me used to it. It's most comfortable for people, sure, but it's way less awkward for me to just set my left hand on the arrow key than to constantly keep losing place of my makeshift arrows.
Look, I still love console games, if I were to seriously get into computer gaming, I'd buy a controller. Nothing will make me use WASD. Nothing.